I have finished reading Montessori's books a long time ago. Many people feel that Grandma Meng's text is relatively theoretical, as if it is not very operative, and they feel the same when reading. But when I took the concept of Grandma Meng to observe and contact the children, I found that what she said can be regarded as a parenting bible! So I want to share with you some of the contents of Montessori's works, combined with the situation encountered in practice, I believe it will help you understand!
Montessori said: 0-6 years old is the most important thing in a person's life, laying the foundation for the formation of children's character. Many parents have this misunderstanding: What do children know when they are only five or six years old? On the contrary, children 0-6 years old can be said to be the most important period of life. why? According to the content of Meng's work, Serena thinks there are two main reasons:
One is because 0-6 years old is the most vigorous period of our inner vitality.
Second, our various growth sensitive periods are basically concentrated at the age of 0-6.
Let me first talk about the seemingly mysterious thing of inner vitality (in fact, it is really amazing!)
Absorptive mind
A large part of the inner vitality mentioned by Montessori refers to the absorptive mind of babies-babies are like a sponge, able to fully absorb the environment, good or bad. The reason why babies learn a certain skill is not because of the "teaching" of adults, but because of their own absorption.
Speaking of this, I have to remind Bao Mom and Dad: Please don't easily evaluate and talk about the child with others in front of the child. The babies seem to be playing on their own, but in fact, their strong absorptive mind is enough to make them "listen to all directions", and they are especially sensitive to adults' evaluations of themselves-my mother said that I am afraid of life, so I am afraid Strange child. As a result, children may become less and less willing to contact strangers or things because of their mother's evaluation.
Just now we said that the absorptive mind of babies is full absorption, no matter good or bad. Then it extends a huge topic: how do we create a good environment to help them absorb good nutrition?
The traditional way of parenting is usually like this: the baby wants to touch the things that interest him, and the parents don't let it: this is not for you! In order to exercise balance, the baby tries to do some actions, such as walking the flower bed, running downhill, the parents are not allowed: too dangerous! Motivated by curiosity, the baby keeps asking why and why is it thundering? Why does the water have no color? —— Parents are impatient: This is the way it is, how can there be so many reasons. This kind of parenting will make the child feel like: I am incompetent, I can't do this or that, and the questions I ask make others feel stupid.
Montessori believes that the most basic human right is the right to "self-cultivation." And this kind of parenting is precisely stifling the right of children to cultivate themselves.
An example in the book impressed me. Let us imagine that we have arrived in a giant country. Everything in the giant country makes us feel so uncomfortable: tables and chairs are higher than our heads, we can only see other people’s legs when we walk, and all objects are too much for us. It's too big, and we must be careful, a giant might emerge to stop us when we encounter anything. ——This is the feeling of children living in the adult world. If you look at it from the perspective of children, you will find that a strong absorptive mind is rarely useful because they can't do anything.
So, the first thing we need to do is--
Prepare a suitable growth environment for children
1. The area of the room where the baby moves should not be too small, it should be spacious, and the light should be sufficient; the wall should be washable, and a blackboard can also be installed for painting. In short, this activity environment seems to be very free.
2. All items belong to the child: have their own storage space such as drawers, cabinets, bookshelves, etc., with a moderate height, and be able to pick and place teaching aids by themselves.
Such an arrangement can not only cultivate the children's sense of responsibility and order, protect the children's awareness of property rights, but also facilitate parental discipline. Tell the children that these things belong to him, even parents can't move around at will, but they are responsible for keeping and organizing their own things. With your own "private property", you don't have to worry about your baby looking through your drawer often.
3. Prepare glassware or porcelain.
Yes, the children's home founded by Montessori will make children boldly use glasses, and surprisingly, glasses are rarely broken. Children learn through constant attempts. When you tell him: be careful, this glass will break if dropped! He doesn't know what you mean by "broken". When one day he really accidentally broke a glass and witnessed the process of "popping" the cup to bloom, then he would really use all glass products very carefully.
There are dazzling toys on the market today, but things that can effectively help children grow themselves don’t need to be so fancy or expensive. "The important thing is not what items are provided, but the material properties of the items—different sizes, shapes, colors, textures, weights, tastes, sounds, and uses" so that children can be stimulated by multiple senses as much as possible.
Montessori summarizes children’s favorite things and spontaneous expressions like this: free choice, repeated exercises, various exercises, control of errors, good social behavior, personal cleanliness, sensory training, and discipline in free activities. Indeed, children are more focused and engaged in the activities of their choice, and will repeat them more times to achieve their own development goals.
4. Encourage participation in all kinds of family affairs within one's ability.
Babies really enjoy participating in housework. Whenever children help Serena organize picture books or set up tables and chairs, and receive "Thank you!", they really feel the sense of value.
The opposite phenomenon is that when many children around 4 or 5 years old are thirsty, they will ask the teacher to hold a cup to drink water. When parents see their children take a cup to drink water under the guidance of the teacher, they will be extremely surprised: my baby will drink water by himself! ——Actually, babies can grab food and eat on their own since they are 1 year old. Drinking water from a cup is not a difficult task for a 1.5 year old baby. So it's not that babies can't drink water by themselves, but the parents didn't give their children the opportunity to drink water by themselves.
Sometimes Serena doesn't quite understand why so many parents like to take care of everything. Empower children to try what they can, not only creates a good environment for the baby's absorptive mind, but also makes themselves a lot easier.
In fact, the environment suitable for the baby's growth is to allow the baby to meet his inner needs as much as possible by himself, and to participate in the activities of the adult world as much as possible to realize his own value.
In addition, Serena also wants to remind parents and moms to avoid using material rewards or punishments. Because too many material rewards or punishments will cause the baby to become dependent on external objects, and thus lose the connection with his inner life, and only desire the help of external objects. Only by following your inner needs to develop yourself can you truly grow.